(un)Abandon

What do you do when you feel you've been abandoned by the one Person you could trust with everything? What do you do when the One you loved, trusted, and put first seems to forget you exist? That's where I am now. I'm asking God why?

God, why have you left me? Why did you abandon me? You told me you had this situation. You told me I would win. You told me there would be one and then I was up next. I stood through that one, and when I couldn't stand, and sat, and when that got to be too much, and laid in the fetal position and cried. But I never moved.

Why did You lie to me, God? Why did You leave me? Why, when I know You are well able, are You not fixing this situation?

You said if I cried out that you would rescue me. But it seems my cries, screams, and bawls have fallen on deaf ears.

You know how bad I hurt. You know I'm dying on the inside. Yet you sit back and do nothing, but watch me die inside and out.

I trusted you when I could trust no one else. I trusted you when I didn't trust myself. I followed you blindly and look where I ended up. I've loved you, rebuked devils, and walked away, and here I stand—alone, and so far from where You promised me.

The only reason I stood through all the hurts, over all the years is because you said I would win. I showed me a promise, a vision, and I grabbed hold and ran with it. Now, here I am feeling on the inside like I am so close. But that part of me that connects to You is dying.