So, Back to Vision Boards

So, back to vision boards…yeah, I told you they were the greatest. I since I posted the last blog a week ago, I have continued to see my visions for my life come to fruition. I can't explain how awesome this feels. I'm eternally grateful to God for all He's done over the past 16 days to make 2010 the greatest, most productive year of my life. There are no words…(but I guess I should find some if I'm going to keep blogging J).

I want your vision boards to be as successful as for you as mine has been for me, so here are a few pointers:

1. Attach Scripture to Your Vision—Psalms 138:2 says it all: "For You have magnified Your word above all Your name." God's word is everything to Him. It's binding, it's true, and it must come to pass. So if you want your vision board to come to fruition, attached scripture (God's word) to each vision. In fact the whole idea of a vision board is connected to scripture. Habakkuk 2:2-3 reads: "Then the LORD answered me and said: 'Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time; but at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.'" God's vision, when written, gives you the inspiration to stay focused and keep working until the vision comes to pass. Remember, He cannot fail, and He will not fail you.
   

   
    

2. Speak, Pray, and Focus On Your Vision-- Proverbs 18:21 states that "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Uses your vision board as a reminder to make positive affirmations (say good things) over your vision. Be prayerful and seek God's guidance in bringing your vision to pass. And focus your time and attention on completing tasks that will transform your vision into reality.
   

   
    

3. Study the Law of Attraction (LOA)--To sum up the Law of Attraction, you bring to you the things that you concentrate or focus on. You think about being in debt, and you will continue to be in debt. You focus on remaining single, and you will continue to be single. If you are consumed by your failures, you will continue to fail and be miserable. However if you concentrate on success, success will come to you. Here's the thing about the law of attraction, you're going to have to stop concentrating on some things. You see the law of attraction works all the time, not just on those things you want it to work on. Learning this was hard for me. There are some music, movies, and books that I can no longer be bothered with because I don't want that crap in my life. If you want a better understanding of the Law of Attraction, check out The Secret. From what I've studied, the Law of Attraction lines up with my spiritual beliefs and what is written in scripture. Fact about me: if it's not scriptural, I don't need it.
   

   
    

4. Don't Do It Alone—Call up your friends, order some food, and make a party out of creating your vision board. Doing so gives you the opportunity to socialize with likeminded individuals, share your vision for the future, and provides you with accountability partners—individuals who will hold you accountable for doing your part to make sure your vision comes to pass. If you don't have anyone to hold you accountable, you are more likely to slack on your responsibility in make your vision reality. Accountability is good. Never fear it.
   

I hope these pointers help your visions come to fruition like mine has been becoming. I'm sure 2010 is going to be the greatest year of my life. Let's make it the greatest year of your life as well.

Write the Vision Make It Plain

A few years ago when I was working with New Birth's Teen Parent Ministry, we did an activity where we were suppose to visualize the life we wanted, cut out pictures that reflected that life, and glue them to a large sheet of construction paper. This construction paper was supposed to be our inspiration to create the life we wanted. That one activity took me to Habakkuk 2:2 which reads: "Write the vision, and make it plain…" This board was my vision. I was making it plain so that God could add His super to my natural and manifest it.

It wasn't until around November 2009 that I learned that others were also building these boards. As I was tweeting, I learned that @ninabrown and her friends would get together and have vision board parties. These events consisted of them gathering with poster boards, magazines, scissors, and glue sticks to cut and paste images that envisioned their future. Once I saw Nina's twitpics, I was reminded of the vision board I had done before and began planning to complete another one just in time for my 28^th birthday. And while I went through the process of cutting out a number of images, I never got around to pasting them on a poster board. Instead they were placed in a bag where they would stay for the next 2 months.

Over the next two months, God really begin to perfect the vision I had for my life. I became less caught up on the stuff (i.e. Black Range Rover, big house, expensive jewelry, designer shoes) I had always imagined having and more focused on my purpose in this world. My priority switched to what God wanted me to give back to Him and this world, both which had given so much to me. By this time I learned that Nina Brown was hosting a citywide Vision Board Brunch at Justin's on New Year's Morning. This furthered inspired me to place my newfound vision on card board. And while I wasn't able to make the Vision Board Brunch, I was able to sponsor my own with my son. J

So when I awoke on New Years' morning and begin putting my vision board together with my son, a number of the images I cut out in November were no longer relevant to my life. Yes, I still wanted the Tiffany jewelry, the BMW, and the living room furniture…BUT it wasn't my priority for 2010. For me, 2010 was an opportunity to focus on things that would bring me lifelong happiness not temporary happiness. It was my opportunity to focus on rebuilding and improving my relationship with my God, my Father, my Creator, my Everything. It was my opportunity to become a better mother who was more in tuned to my son's needs. It was my opportunity to stop being petty and correct relationships with family and friends that had gone astray over the years. It was my opportunity to make myself a better, healthier, more fit, and more beautiful me. It was my opportunity to enjoy the NOW I was living in, which included my home, my singleness, and my financial situation, no matter how improved I wanted them to be in the future. It was my opportunity to use my God-give gifts and talents inspire and change the world I live in.

Since New Year's morning, my vision board has been sitting in my living room. Every day I walk by it and see my interpretation of God's vision for my life. Every day I see that vision board three things happen: 1) I am inspired to work harder toward the things on the board, 2) I am reminded to focus my prayers toward the things on that board, 3) and in spite of how bad things are going that day, I am reminded of the greatness of my future. And that gives me the strength to work through the hard times.

Everyone should create a vision board. It does great things as far as organizing and focusing in on your purpose and goals. Plus, once the vision comes into fruition, it provides a visual check list of all the things God has accomplished through you and for you.

Over the next month, I'm going to post how-to blogs on creating your vision board and hosting your own vision board brunch. By the end of this month, everyone reading should have their vision boards completed, and once you do, please send pictures to kiaspeaks@gmail.com.

I can't wait to see your vision come into fruition.

Relationships

CALM DOWN!!! I'm not about to give you any advice à la
Steve Harvey. But I have been spending a lot of time contemplating friendships and family relationships. We spend so much time trying to cultivate (read as manipulate) boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife relationships, that we often forget to invest in the relationships we have with others in our lives (i.e. friends, family, and God).

I was junior varsity (JV) cheerleading coach at my school this year (it will take an act of God to get me to do it again, but that's neither here nor thereJ). The year started out great! The JV and Varsity squads were practicing together, and they often had family circles where they would talk, cry, and declare their love and sisterhood for each other. Sisterhood is a strong word, and I was actually impressed with these girls committing so much to each other. But as you can guess, that soon came to an end. Before long they were arguing about who was riding with who to get foods before ball games, why JV was cheering with Varsity at games, and which squad was the best. Everyone in the school was talking about these chicks and their fights! Their dreams of sisterhood had been flushed down the toilet, but why?

It became apparent to me that these girls wanted something, but they were not willing to work for it…AT ALL!!! All relationships require some sort of work and sacrifice. They wanted to be "sisters" but they didn't want to sacrifice, give to, or support their "sisters". Sisters sacrifice a little gas to make sure their sister has a meal before they have to cheer a 4 hour game. Sisters give from their overflow to ensure their sister is taken care of. Sisters support their sisters when they are going through tough times because they want to see them be great. They don't rejoice in their downfall.

At the end of the day, relationships are a two-way street. You have to give just as much (honestly more) than you expect to receive. If you are not going to give a quality relationship and/or friendship, then why would you expect to receive that from someone else.

That thought alone got me thinking about my family relationships, and when I thought of the ones that were the most difficult, it was clearly because people expected things from me that they weren't willing to give to me. You want me to respect your decisions as an adult, but you don't respect mine. In fact, you find every way possible demean and disrespect the adult decisions that I make. You want me to respect you as a mother, but you don't respect me as one, nor do you respect MY relationship with MY child. You want me to support you, but you constantly find joy in my downfalls and belittle what's important to me. You want me to be your friend; however, you don't give me ANY of the qualities I value in a friendship.

I love my family! I don't want you to doubt that at all! But being a part of my life by blood does not give you the right to be an active and intrigue part of my life. There are qualifications that I require: those being respect, support, and loyalty. If you can't give me that, then I don't need you in my life—blood or not.

The third relationship I was forced to examine was my relationship with God. I remember when I used to feel like God was ALWAYS with me. If I made the wrong move, I could feel Him tugging me back. When I was confused, I could hear His voice guiding me. And when I was lonely, He was there to comfort me. There was not a moment when I did not feel God.

However, recently, I haven't been feeling God like I used to. Now, I'm mature enough to know that God is ALWAYS with me rather I feel Him or not, but I missed feeling God with me 24-7. Missing my companionship with Him forced me to examine our relationship. Once I did, I noticed that God's side of the street was the same. He was still the same, unchanging God He had always been to me. However, my side of the street had changed. I was no longer meeting God first thing in the morning for our daily devotional time (I was tweeting instead L). My busy schedule had interrupted my church attendance. And family prayer time was sparse at best. I was basically expecting God to do what He always did while I was severely slacking on my end of the relationship. I was the one who interrupted my communion with God, and I was the one responsible for fixing it.

Seeing how my shortfalls in my relationship with God caused our relationship to change dramatically forced me to re-evaluate my relationship with friends, family, and students. What had I done to contribute to the "bad" relationships in my life? What had I NOT done that complicated those relationships? Had I always given what I expected to receive?

In many cases there had been years and years of hurt. So much that I really could've cared less about rectifying the relationship. In my mind, it was what it was. And I was satisfied with writing off the relationship(s) as one that would not be fruitful in my life. But after prayer and meditation, God guided me to try again. Give what I would like to be given and see what happens with the relationship. Worst case scenario, it stays the same. Oh well, I've done my part, so I can move on with a clear conscience. But with God involved I know it will get better. I just pray with every being in my soul that I can rid myself of my pride enough to allow what God has planned to developed. But because I'm God's girl, I know He has everything under His control.

Lessons Learned: Give what you expect to get, discard unhealthy relationships, and don't be afraid to let go of your pride and try again.

In the Now

So, three days ago I celebrated my 28^th birthday!!! I have officially drifted from my mid-20s into the late-20s. Hitting this junction in my life caused me to reminisce on the first time I really begin to plan out my life. It was spring 2004 (I was 22), and I was approaching college graduation.

 

As I began to prepare myself to enter the "real world", it was the first time I truly began to ponder what I truly wanted out of life. It was also at that point that I realized how far I was from the dreams I had dreamt for my life. Everything—the husband, the kids, and the dream job all seemed so far away that I literally spun into such a deep depression that I couldn't see my way out. On numerous occasions I honestly thought death would be easier than me climbing out of the deep, dark hole I was residing in.

 

After re-evaluating EVERYTHING I was doing in my life, re-vamping my relationship with God, and re-connecting with a body of believers (shout out New Birth Fam!), I was able to climb from the hole and find joy in life and living again (around 24)! In the midst of my new found joy of life, I also developed a plan. A plan I was sure God had divinely imparted to me and would quickly bless and prosper.

 

So for the next couple of years, I threw my all into this plan. Worked my assets off trying to make the vision I'd created, the one I felt was divinely imparted, come to pass. I was going to church 2 to 3 times a week, loving and giving the man I was supposed to marry my all, and working like a slave from my home-based business. And before I knew it (circa 26), I was lucky to make it to Sunday's 10:30am service on time, my future husband, yeah, he was engaged to someone else, and I was in debt up to my eyeballs due to my people refusing to pay me for my services. So here I was, broke with a broken heart and broken dreams to match. I could've spiraled right back into the black hole I'd called home 4 years earlier, but I didn't.

 

Over the past 4 years, I had really searched and figured out who God was and what He'd promised me. So even when it appeared that God was forsaking me, I knew enough about my God to know, He would never do that. I trusted Him when I couldn't trace Him and pressed. Eventually (26-27), I found myself teaching high school English and developing myself into the woman I'd always wanted to be.

 

So here I stand, 28 & 3 days old. My life is far from where I imagined it would be back at 22! I have no husband and no potential mate and only one of the 5 kids a dreamed of having. My Oprah-esque media empire is a lot of hard work from fruition. And I'm not living the "good life" I've been dreaming of since 2000. But I'm know I'm right where God wants me, and I'm loving every minute of my now.

 

I don't have a husband or a potential mate, but I love myself more than ever before. I love the strong, spiritual, determined, and caring woman I have grown into. And I also heart the fabulous, God-fearing diva that is emerging. By the time my husband arrives, he's going to have a true prize in his hands. And that, I take pride in.

 

And while I don't have my 5 biological kids, I do have 1 who is the greatest kid of all time, 9-10 kids who I love, pray for, and protect like they are mine own, around 20 kids who I mentor, and close to 350 students whose lives I have touched in some way, shape, or form. I live and breathe for these kids. They add value to my life.

 

I may not be the media giant I dreamed of becoming, but I am one of the few people I know of who LOVES the job I get up and go to every morning. I take pride in being an educator, and in being freaking good at it! Teaching literature is a means God set up that allows me to change kids' lives (no exaggeration). I love that He trusts me with so much, and I love that I'm effective. I also love that teaching gives me just enough off time to plot my media takeover and surprise the world. Oprah's leaving a void in 2011, and I'm trying to take it. You've been warned. J

 

Finally, I may not be living the "good life" of fabulous parties, lots of money, and fame that Kanye and T-Pain song about. But I am living the Good Life where all of my needs are met, all of my fears are subsided, and all of my burdens are cared for by someone bigger than myself. It's an amazing Life that only He could design (peep Jeremiah 1:15). It's wonderful, and you could have it too. But only if you want it.

 

Through the past 6½ years of struggle and joy, tears and laughter, agony and pleasure, I've learned one amazing lesson: live life in the now! Don't let the regrets of yesterday or the dreams of tomorrow steal the blissful moments you have the ability to enjoy now. Find comfort and happiness in the NOW, while healing from yesterday and planning for tomorrow. God is in the now! You can only enjoy Him in the now! And you can only enjoy now with Him!

ABC’s of Me

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

A: Erika and I have a lot in common. My handwriting SUCKS!!! My students constantly ask me if they can rewrite the board so the directions are neat and legible. Teachers even question my passes to class as forgeries, lol.

B: God has played a cruel joke on me. For the past 4 years, I thought I had a good understanding of what He had called me to do and who He had called me to be. But in 2008 (the year of new beginnings) all of those plans have been shot to hell, and I now feel like I'm starting from the beginning. On one hand I feel a new freedom to reinvent my future. On the other hand, I'm scared as hell because what if the future I reinvent is not the one He desires for me. My only desire in life is to please Him; however, that seems more difficult than ever because I'm not sure what me pleasing Him looks like. (See C, D & E for more info.)

C: I analyze to a fault. I have always been an over-analyzer, and probably always will be. As much as I like thinking about things, it can definitely be exhausting.

D: I miss hanging out with God. Since August life has gotten so busy, we don't get to chill like we use to. And I know if we spent more time together, I would have a better understanding of where my ladder was suppose to be placed.

E: At my core, I know that pleasing God is not as complicated as I made it sound in B. However, my biggest fear is succeeding in life and getting to heaven and having God say, "That's cool and all, but that's not what I sent you there for…" I don't want to climb to the top and then realize my ladder was on the wrong building. L

F: I am a nerd and a horrible student. Yes, it is possible to be both at the same time. I love learning and gaining new insight. However, I give piss poor performances in school. (Piss poor performance is an example of alliteration).

G: Being a nerd is what makes teaching fun to me. I spend my day reading, learning, and making lessons practical for others. I couldn't ask for a better job.

H: Being a horrible student is what makes teaching hard. I spend my day with 15 and 16 year old kids who don't understand the value of a good education. It pisses me off because I know had I been a better student, I wouldn't be so overwhelmed with student loan debt. Some of these kids have the minds to go to school for free and they are blowing it by being bad students and that pisses me off. (Alliteration again, lol).

I: I get my eclectic love of music from my dad. He can name a song of any genre within in the first 3 notes. While I'm not that good, you can catch me bumping to anything from Garth Brooks to Keyshia Cole to Goodie Mob to Aerosmith and Nickleback. I love good music…period.

J: I haven't had sex in four years, four months, and 2 days, lol. And honestly I don't miss it. Yes, I desire to be in the strong, loving arms of a man, but I haven't met anyone deserving, and I refuse to settle for less than I deserve. I'm the daughter of a King, and I deserve a king in every sense of the word not just a good lay, lol.

K: I have, and always have had, celebrity crushes. Right now my list includes T.I. (he's a constant) and T.J. Holmes (CNN, check him out on Saturday mornings). There is one other, but he's within my circle of influence so I want reveal that one. Barack Obama would be on the list, but I'm so in awe of his wife I feel bad crushing on her husband.

L: I LOVE going to the gym and working out. Seriously, it's orgasmic to me. You probably can't tell, but I also love clothes, fashion, hair, and make-up. I've been a fashion magazine girl sense I was 10.

M: My name is Kia, and I am a facebook stalker, lol. If you don't want me to know something about you, don't put it on your facebook profile or delete me from your friend list, lol. It's the journalist in me. I just like knowing stuff, lol.

N: I want to be Michelle Obama when I grow up. She has a great education, successful career, smart, beautiful, and intelligent children, and a husband who adores her. I don't want a man unless he can look at me and adore me like Barack looks at Michelle.

O: That last dude: I did love him, but not because he deserved it. I made the decision to love him based off 1 Corinthians 13. I wasn't as stupid as you thought I was, and I knew he didn't appreciate or deserve all that I gave or did for him. But I thought he was the one God wanted me to love. I loved him out of obligation to my King, and as soon as He gave me the go, I was gone. At the end of the day, I don't regret it at all. If I can love a self-centered and self-absorbed butt the way I loved him, I'm positive I can love my one through it all till death do us part.

P: I miss real, sincere friendships. Ride or die friendships. BFF friendships. Maybe one day they will happen again.

Q: I believe I have the greatest kid in the world. He's cute, intelligent, and wise beyond his years. His personality is one to be desired. To know him is to love him. He's the greatest.

R: I want to have 4 kids: 3 boys and 1 girl (I need someone to carry on the Spelman and AKA legacy.) On top of that I want to "adopt" kids. I've already "adopted" one teen who I love and pray for like my own kid. I would lay down my life for my kids…both of them. J

S: I've recently gotten the desire to get tattoos in visible place--the inside of my wrist and behind my ears on the back of my neck—like Rihanna, and if I had cute feet I would get one there too. The professional in me is yelling, "Don't do it!" But then again, I've never been one for corporate America, lol. Please advise.

T: My deepest desire is to live debt free. And as deep as my debt is, I still KNOW it will happen one day, and sooner than you think.

U: I want to be the hip hop equivalent to Oprah. And while I love teaching, and don't plan on stopping anytime soon, I plan on grinding to make my self-made media empire a reality.

V: One day, I want to give back to a teenage mom. My success wouldn't have been possible without the help I received from others, and I want to make success possible for another teenage mom.

X: I want to start a non-profit organization that exposes inner city youth to the things outside of their community they need to be successful in "the real world."

Y: "The Experience" by Goodie Mob is my favorite song of all times. I wish I could put it on repeat in my classroom. I wish it would sink into our heads. Google it, YouTube it, or iTune it. You need to hear it too.

Z: This list was harder than I thought it would be to come up with. Don't stress the typos. Yes, I am an English major, former magazine editor, and English teacher, but I'm the worst at proofreading my own work. It doesn't bother me, so you should get over it too. J I'm headed to the gym now :-P

T.I. Came to My Church Sunday

Seriously, God

God, I'm hurting. You know this. But yet, you won't let me leave. I'm really trying to figure out what lesson you're trying to teach me, because I seriously want to learn it and get it over with.

When I think of how long I've been going around this mountain, I get seriously ill. I'll be the first to admit to mistakes being made, but at the end of the day God, You knew my heart. My heart has never been rebellious or defiant of what You were saying to me. The mistakes that I've made have always been because the emotional turmoil was just too much for me to handle at the time.

I know this has to be you because God I'm intelligent and secure. I wouldn't get myself caught in a mess like this and then just stay. In fact, everything in me wants to leave. Nothing makes him worth all this. He's just not that great. If I had my say I would walk away and never look back, but I honestly feel like you are keeping me here.

That leads me to the question of why? Why do you love him more than you love me? I know that's not true, but God that's what if feels like. Why would you answer his prayers and not mine? Why does it feel like I'm giving my life, and he's sitting back smiling and receiving it all?

I heard the lady speak yesterday. And I knew she was speaking directly to me. I heard her say are you willing to be radical and do something different from those around you for God. You know that answer is yes. I'm still here. I'm still standing. And I'm still believing. But Lord, how long? How much hurt? And how will I ever recover?

I'm trying to be strong. I'm trying to stand tall. And I still believe what you said to me. My prayer has always been, as long as you give me the strength, I keep standing, keep believing, and keep moving. So, God, my prayer is that you strength me and heal this empty, open, dying place in the midst of my soul.

I love you, God. And I trust you in this place.